No heart problems at all (April 13th 2007)

Blencathra.

From Mungrisdale! There's nothing wrong with Hairy's heart, if he can do this. In under two hours from the start! It's about four miles of ascent this way!

It was great. I love the back of Skiddaw fells, they're so kind to my aged paws, as they're mainly grass. This route up Blencathra isn't one of the more touristy and therefore it is usually deserted - today was no exception. We met nary a soul until Foule Crag, but that is just a spit from the fell top.

We parked along from the pub in Mungrisdale and headed out along the beck that leads to The Tongue. We were at the top of Bannerdale Crags in under an hour. He must've known about our planned revolt and decided to take the bull by the horns, so to speak. It is grassy and fairly gentle, so you can yomp on. (I bet even the bof brother in law would have managed it, too - well, maybe not!).

Me in front of Foule Crag.

We met fell runners at Glenderamakin Col. Ancient ones! Must've both been in retirement time, easily. They'd just swarmed down the route we were heading up. (Foule Crag.) Not to be outdone, we swarmed up. The height just flew past and before you knew it we were on top, looking down at the loonies clinging to Sharp Edge, with their teeth, and cacking their pants. H. had a chat with a bloke sat at the path top. He was a teacher from Manchester who, judging by the whiff, had just climbed S.E. too! I don't think Hairy guessed.

Luckily there was loads of water in the tarn just past the quartz cross, so we could have a big, big drink. Then at the top of Hall's Fell ridge we had our snap.

Really hazy background, isn't it?

It was a great day. Hot, sunny and really warm. It would've been even better if there'd been anything like decent visibility - but you can't have everything. We pottered about on the summit for about half an hour, visiting each of the separate tops. H. was really, really happy. I don't know why. I guess it was the climbing that does it. The whiff was just whistling off him like steam, for ages.

The summit was busier than Whitehaven's market on a Thursday morning. (Less chavs though!) There were wrinklies who obviously weren't past it yet; there were little sprogs who must've been dragged up by their boot laces and loads of fit looking outdoory types!

There were even one or two of those dozy buggers who carry a baby up in a rucksack, as though the baby appreciates it at all! I think it's just a kind of showing off - "Look at me.. I'm a virile bloke who can still carry a heavy weight up a mountain." What total prats they are. More bloody fool you for bringing it up to show off, when the chabe would be happier at a child minder, it wouldn't even know the difference! That's what I think, anyway. Hewmings do the most moronic things.

Even Hairy has his moments. Luckily, going down S.E. didn't figure in his plans. That would have been a moronic moment worse than rucksacking a baby. His moronic moment was deciding to go up Souther Fell after strolling down Scales Fell.

It's us with Blencathra right at the back and Bannerdale Crags immediately behind us. It's a good job you can't read the caption on Hairy's Reduced Shakespeare Company T shirt, it says: "I love my Willy!" That's why his hand is over the writing in this photo, but the truth will out, as they say!

Why Souther? We didn't need to. But he did it anyway. I guess it sort of completed a logical circuit and it meant we kept height until the very last minute instead of wandering down a valley bottom for two miles back to the pub.

We encountered more moronic actions at the bottom, some total arsehole had blocked off the path down to the pub and put up signs saying it wasn't a right of way. It damn well used to be! People who block paths like that deserve to have their throats ripped out on sacrificial rocks like Long Meg and her Daughters!! We'd both do it for free. Hairy was so pissed, he didn't even bother to go for a swift drinkie at the pub.

(Well, to be fair he was going to see the Halle Orchestra at the Sands in the evening, and probably didn't want to end up snoozing through Carmen!)